Like many poor bastards I know*, I have been trying to date Democrfatic Politics for years. We are a pathetically besotted bunch. Our friends are like, "Dude, look around. You've got options. Don't waste yourself waiting for Dem Politics to wise up. Dem Politics just isn't that into you." We are fools, but we're not stupid. We know that PR is prettier, and that Grad School would never break our hearts, but there's just something about the enigmatic temptress that is Dem Politics. You can't help who you love.
Dem Politics for her part just keeps shooting us down, indifferent to the talent and devotion she is casting aside. Sure, every once in a while (every two or four years) Dem Politics gets drunk, finds our number, promises it will be different this time, and gets us into bed. We don't see this as her using us. We see hope. We see happiness. We kill ourselves to prove our love, to make ourselves worthy of the drunk dials. We are fools. It's never different. In the light of day(post-election), Dem Politics forgets our name, can't recall our night together, is not sure why we are still standing there. Dem Politics never buys us breakfast.
Oh yeah, I took a job. I'm totally over the pathetic, depressed, and sometimes bitter former staffer thing. Really. And that whole top section on loving Dem Politics, I am obviously kidding. Obviously that would make me crazy.
And Dem Politics, if you are reading this, um, just so you know, my number is the same, so, like, you can call, if you, like, you know, um, need anything, or um, maybe if you want to get together, or whatever, you know, um, just as friends, or you know, more, er, I mean, only if you want. Anyway, so yeah, um call me. Not that I'm expecting it, I know you're busy, and uh, I am too, so whatever, yeah, uh, number's the same. Or email is fine, yeah, or you know what? I, uh, I might just check in with you, um just you know, to see what's up, in like, say, I don't know, like, maybe '06 or something? Um, just you know, cause we're friends, and um, you know, yah, uh, so ok, great, cool.
*Metaphor credit goes to BC, who shares the plight and still has a sense of humor.